Sunday, March 25, 2007

बस एक झलक|

रूठ कर बैठा है सवेरा मुझसे,
तेरी तलाश में बेक़रार हूँ कबसे,
तुम्हे दूर सवेरे में खोया है जबसे,
नींद की एक भी झलक ना देखी है तबसे ,
जो मिल जाओ तुम, तो अँधेरा छ्टे,
बरसों के विछोह का एहसास मिटे,

अब आ जाओ तुम लेकर रौशन दीये
और बस एक झलक मेरे लिए,
बस एक झलक मेरे लिए

--- दिनांक : १५ अक्तोबेर २००१।

4 comments:

Pooja said...

Wah wah, janaab badi besabri se intezaar kar rahe hai. Hum bhi dua karenge ki zhalak dikh jaye aapko!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, very good start.
try to use more peotic words like seher instead of savera, and more rythm is required...

like this:

"tumhe door seher mein khoya hein jabse,
muddat ho gayeee palakh jhapkayeee hue tabse..."

or if u are going with the original lines, which are indeed very good, the 2nd line should be...


"na dekha hein tabse.."
instead of "na dekha tabse..."


do remember to rhym and use urdu as much as possible...

keep going dude.. i m impressed

Manish Kumar said...

hey krishna! thanks for the comments yaar. will use urdu in my shayari section :)

Unknown said...

hmmmm......... bahhot hi jayeda bekarar ho TUM ki ek jhalak ko.........

Very well said....... bahhot hi badhiya hai..........bahhot jayeda acch hai.........